E. Robert Schulman's parody of academic prose, "How to Write a Scientific Paper," appeared in a 1996 volume of the Annals of Improbable Research. Here's a sample:
Scientific papers (e.g. Schulman 1988; Schulman & Fomalont 1992; Schulman, Bregman, & Roberts 1994; Schulman & Bregman 1995; Schulman 1996) are an important, though poorly understood, method of publication. They are important because without them scientists cannot get money from the government or from universities. They are poorly understood because they are not written very well (see, for example, Schulman 1995 and selected references therein).
I plan to use it in my Intermediate College Writing class this fall to show my students what NOT to do.
If you enjoyed this article, you might also like “How to Write Consistently Boring Scientific Literature,” Kaj Sand-Jensen, Oikos, vol. 116, no. 5, May 2007, pp. 723–7 and Alexander Kohn’s “How To Make a Scientific Lecture Unbearable.” Via Improbable Research
