How to discourage a great white shark

Poke it in the eye:

Jason Cull was swimming off Middleton Beach, Western Australia, when he saw a four-metre long grey shape in the water, reports the Daily Telegraph.

"Initially I thought it was a dolphin but when it came up and banged straight into me, I realised what it was," he said.

Mr Cull, a 37-year-old teacher, punched the shark but it grabbed him by the left leg and pulled him under the water.

"I remember being dragged backwards underwater," he said. "I felt along it, found its eye and I poked it in the eye. That's when it let go. -- Ananova

Jake prefers economic disincentives:

Another excellent technique to discourage a Great White is to renegotiate its contract every three years and make sure his cost of living raises are far less than the actual increase in cost of living in his area... Over the course of say, 10-15 years the Great White will find realize that while he has been working harder and harder, his actual spendable income has fallen through the floor and he can no longer afford his yearly vacation to surfer hunt in Australia..This will make the GW feel very discouraged indeed.

Plus, if you can cut his benefits, like Dental coverage, in the process there's a good chance his teeth will have fallen out anyway and getting gummed to death by a toothless GW is not very likely.

What's YOUR plan?

Comments

[Ana]

Well then. That's easy enough. Being savaged by a great shark? Give it a poke in the eye. It's safe to go back in the water! How did he have the presence of mind when this thing was biting on his leg???

[Jake]

Another excellent technique to discourage a Great White is to renegotiate it's contract every three years and make sure his cost of living raises are far less than the actual increase in cost of living in his area... Over the course of say, 10-15 years the Great White will find realize that while he has been working harder and harder, his actual spendable income has fallen through the floor and he can no longer afford his yearly vacation to surfer hunt in Australia..This will make the GW feel very discouraged indeed.

Plus, if you can cut his benefits, like Dental coverage, in the process there's a good chance his teeth will have fallen out anyway and getting gummed to death by a toothless GW is not very likely.

[Pixie]

Jake, are you the CEO yet?!

[joated]

I recommend tort reform. Put the bums out of business and there won't be any recruitment to fill the void.

[Major John]

I simply will avoid shark infested waters unless I am in a Trident nuclear submarine.

[jon]

I could say that luring a Great White to a Rhode Island nightclub is effective, but it's also in very poor taste.