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Here's a Periodic Table that shows what all the elements are used for.
October 23, 2008 at 06:50 PM | Permalink
The periodic table illustration is great, but it doesn't include the newly discovered element of Governmentium.
"Govermentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons."
October 23, 2008 at 11:50 PM
HAHAHAHA! JWebb, did you make that up?
October 24, 2008 at 07:17 AM
No, I didn't make it up (I ain't smart enough!) Heard it on the Dave Ramsey show, but it has apparently been going around the internet in various forms for a while. This iteration was from Wikipedia...
October 25, 2008 at 12:10 AM
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