Scribal Terror

Academic Writer

Dear struggling student, when you read my book
it will suck your brains out with just a look!
It's based on a thousand other books I've read
And I reference them all 'cause I am an academic writer
Academic writer!

I use the biggest words at my command
To make it difficult to understand
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilico
volcanoconiosis now that is big but nothing for a writer
Academic writer!

Academic writeeeer (writer!) (writer...)

It's got ten revisions give or take a few
Then another is out in a week or two!
I do this to add a couple more big words
And to empty your wallets cause I am a total pompous blighter
Academic writer!

If I wrote my book to be decipherable
Then the consequences would be terrible
You'd see that the book could be a quarter the length
But I wouldn't make money the way I do if it was lighter
ACADEMIC WRITER!!!

Acadeeeeemic writer! (Academic writer...)
Acadeeeeemic writer! (Academic writer...)
Acadeeeeemic writer! (Academic writer...)
Acadeeeeemic writer! (Academic writer...)

From Magnulus

End women's suffrage?

Because we don't want women to, like, suffra. Thanks, Ana

Two completely unrelated mnemonics

Willie, Willie, Harry, Steve
Harry, Dick, John, Harry Three.
Edward One, Two, Three, Dick Two
Henry Four, Five, Six then who?
Edward Four Five, Dick the Bad
Harrys twain and Ned, the lad.
Mary, Lizzie, James, the Vain
Charlie, Charlie, James again.
William and Mary, Anne o'Gloria,
Four Georges, William and Victoria
Edward Seven, Georgie Five,
Edward, George and Liz (alive).

Queen Victoria eyes Caesar's awfully painful corns.

What should they help you remember? Scribal points to Billy for recognizing the kings and queens of England in the first mnemonic. Maybe the second is impossible . . .? But wait! Minnesotastan has it: the seven hills of Rome (clockwise from the north). Quirinal, Viminal, Esquiline, Caelian, Aventine, Palatine, Capitoline.

Chocolate teapot experiment

How-to here.

First assignments

Here's my freshmen's first writing assignment. They had twenty minutes to complete it.

The most influential person in my life, and what I learned from him or her.

--or--

The funniest or scariest moment in my life, and what I learned from it.

Focus on creativity, originality, and detailed description to make this a lively, memorable, and revealing glimpse into your personality as a writer.

My advanced students got this prompt:

First, think of something you really know well -- something you're an expert in. It can be a procedure (flying a plane, entertaining your baby sister, baking a cake, surviving in the wild, surviving in your high school) or an idea (philosophical, political, scientific, religious, educational, technical, etc.).

Assume that the audience for your essay will be this class -- a group of randomly assorted college students. They are intelligent, but not necessarily well-informed about your topic.

In the next thirty minutes, write an essay on your chosen topic that this specific audience can read and come away feeling confident that they could perform the procedure or explain the idea themselves.

Focus on providing detailed, well-organized information presented in an engaging and memorable style.

School anxiety dreams

I'm not dressed. My hair is falling out. I can't find my classrooms. I left my handouts at home. I don't remember what books I've assigned. I don't know the material. I have several hundred students. Some of them are clearly insane. I wake up with a blistering headache.

What are your school anxiety dreams like?

Musical Latin mnemonics

Based on the ubiquitous Wheelock text.

These deserve partial credit

Via h2limousine