Scribal Terror

As If the News Weren't Bad Enough

Paris Hilton has had her monkey taken away.

The door is open . . .

Come on in and talk.  Or drop off one of your random bursts of verbal energy -- poem, limerick, story, top ten list, clerihew, essay,alliterative poem, rant, Surrealist or Dadaist poem, parody, cento, dirty joke, amusing syllepsis, dirty syllepsis, haiku, dirty haiku . . . to share.

The Night Owl Is Curious

about pranks and hijinks, musings and mutterings, and the door is open all night.

Just Another Sleepy Little Town

"Police blotter classics" from Denton TX,  excerpted from a column by Donna Fiedler of the Denton Record-Chronicle:

--Someone taped a rubber eyeball to a woman’s doorknob

--A woman told police that she believes her neighbor is poisoning her plants.

--Officers responding to a fight scene found two extremely bloody men fighting in the street. The officers pulled the men apart, and one of the men passed out. They called for an ambulance. . . .The first man had extensive facial swelling and bruising. The second man had fractured knuckles, but claimed he never hit the first man and that the first man’s injuries came from striking the television with his face.

-- Denton police officers responding to reports of a naked woman standing beside the road had to struggle with her to get her in the squad car.

--A neighborhood dispute over zoning is the suspected root of threats a couple received, according to a police report. . . . About 2:25 a.m., a vehicle that sounded like a diesel truck drove slowly through the alley behind their house. They heard a loud voice threaten to “kill you and scatter your brains on the sidewalk.”

--Police arrested a 29-year-old man after his mother said he broke her parrot’s legs.

--A woman called police to report her soon-to-be-ex-husband assaulted her with a high-pressure water hose Wednesday.

H/t Fark

 

Don't Blame the Tryptophan

You probably just drank too much or ate too much pie. According to Zach Lynch of Brain Waves,

Eating turkey with lots of other foods on a day like Thanksgiving will actually lower your tryptophan. That's because tryptophan uses the same means of transport into the brain as other amino acids, and has to compete against them to cross the blood-brain barrier. As it happens, tryptophan is the least abundant amino acid in protein. Forced to fight for access against the more common amino acids, tryptophan is left waiting at the gate: the amount of tryptophan entering the brain actually decreases.

The door is open . . .

Come on in and talk.  Or drop off one of your random bursts of verbal energy -- poem, limerick, story, top ten list, clerihew, essay,alliterative poem, rant, Surrealist or Dadaist poem, parody, cento, dirty joke, amusing syllepsis, dirty syllepsis, haiku, dirty haiku . . . to share.

The Night Owl Is Curious

about pranks and hijinks, musings and mutterings, and the door is open all night.

If the Clown Shoe Fits. . .

In order to flush out a murder suspect, Albany police circulated a poster offering a $150,000 reward for information. At the bottom of the poster, in small print, was the following disclaimer:"This is not real you stupid crackhead." The  suspect's boyfriend turned her in,  and nobody got any money.
H/t Fark

Good Doggie

A dog has survived a 50-mile journey clinging to the front of a car as it sped down the motorway. . . .

The resilience of the black and white collie cross-breed has astounded vets, not to mention the driver of the car, who was astonished to discover the dog trapped in the grille at the front of his vehicle.

The motorist, who was travelling from Coleraine to Belfast in Northern Ireland, remembered hearing a thump as he was driving his Peugeot 306.

Thinking he had hit something as he travelled on the road approaching Ballymena he looked in his rear-view mirror, but saw nothing on the road behind so did not stop.

It was only when he arrived at Belfast's Odyssey Arena and got out of his car that he heard barking and realised he had a passenger.

--Telegraph via Craig

Drink More Beer

But only for the micronutrients.