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Wow. So if I'm in public and my ass is itching, what do I scratch? And no smartass comments about bigger problems and all that.


If I stick my index finger into the eye of an airport police officer it makes my two feet start running like crazy.

Name Withheld

When I was an undergraduate, I knew the now-editor of Men's Health. He was one of those narcissistic undergraduate Chomskybots. He edited the campus paper for a year and blew it off almost completely; why bother doing the work, when he he could put it on his résumé whether he did anything or not? He also got himself appointed assitant editor of the campus literary magazine. His sole editorial decision was to publish two of his own stories.

And now he's editing Cosmo for Men. There's a lesson in that.

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