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Yes. I need coffee.
And a gun.
And an abandoned field.


And a sloth beside you
Singing in the wilderness.


No guns in abandoned fields damn it.

We love you and will not stand for guns in abandoned fields.

Is it students making you nuts? Is it life making you nuts? Why do you want to shoot coffee or students or this abandoned field? Why??

Big sloppy kisses and snuggles and lots of chocolate and sweetened condensed milk for Julie. Footie pajamas! Chicken fried steak and gravy! Biscuits for the love of food! Thai Yoga Massage! Hasselhoff!

That is my magic encantation. Where's that voodoo doll? Here I am with this vat of melted chocolate and I loose the Julie doll. Jeebus.


Total immersion baptism in chocolate. What could be better.


Wow. This IS pampering. Thanks Ana! You gave me a laugh. It's just been a shitty day in general. I'm not happy with any, ANY part of my life. And even though I know I have a zillion things to be thankful for, I'm just sick to death of my life today. Know what I mean?

Oops. I just slopped some gravy on my footie jammies.


For Julie: A List.

The Top Ten Oh-I-Think-This-Requires-Ammunition Kind of Irritating Christian Answers to "I'm having a shitty day".

10. God didn't move!

9. Is it an unconfessed sin issue?

8. God has a plan! Rejoice in God's Plan!

7. Have you taken it to the cross, honey?

6. God is growing you! Don't you feel special.

5. It's a season.

4. I will pray for you. Now let's praise him!

3. Have you been praying about this?

2. Let go let God!

1. How are you using this suffering to help you understand Jesus better?

I'm feeling like Saul lately. I love Jesus but his people are really beginning to irritate me.

And, yeah. We all have a zillion things to be thankful and so what. A shitty day is a shitty day. I recommend Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Hot ones are the best. Indulge in all of your favorite bad habits, I say. Except chewing fingernails. Yech.


Ana, apparently you hit something on the nose, because your list made me cry. I've been praying most of the day about it all, which is how the little "Uncommon Book" made it to the surface.

You said exactly the right thing to me. Which is a giant blessing in itself.

Thank you. I love you massively.


Number 6 sounds like God has warts.


Isn't Ana nice? She's so much nicer than I am. I suck.


Yeah, Gail. You're absolutely hideous and uncaring. EVERYBODY says so.

That's really ALL they say. Even people who have never met you just constantly walk around wearing sandwich boards that say "Gail Sucketh."

But yes, Ana is way nice.

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