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Den of Imp Shell

Okay... ** TMI Warning ** I've been alone too long. That drawing got me all HOT!

...oh the humility...

Nothing to see here, carry on.

Jake Holmes

Jake at airport security screening checkpoint.
::TSA rummaging through Jake's carry on::

TSA: One Swedish-made penis measuring device.
Jake: That's not mine.
TSA:One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis measuring device signed by Jake Holmes.
Jake:I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine.
TSA: One warranty card for Swedish-made penis measuring device, filled out by Jake Holmes.
Jake: I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.
TSA: One book, "Swedish-made Penis Measuring Devices And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by Jake Holmes.

Den of Imp Shell

Ha haaaaa!!!! *snort*

Jake... You're killin' me!

Jake Holmes

Somehow 75 cubic inches of throbbing man meat just doesnt sound as impressive...

(formula - pi * r² * h... more or less)

my first girlfriend nicknamed me "Coke Can"

Unfortunately, while it provides an accurate measurement of total mass, such a measurement is useless when attempting to rate said penis quality and says nothing about the relationship between length and girth.

my first girlfriend nicknamed me "Coke Can"

I wonder, do the directions specify whether the user should fill the device with warm or cold water?

My first girlfriend nicknamed me "pinky finger"

Hey.. Size doesnt matter.. It's not the size of the ship it's the motion of the ocean that counts.. heard it all our lives... we all know that's true.. Right girls?


uhm, hate to break it to you Jake ...





Do those measuring devices come in EXTRA large?!?

Heh heh heh...




Updated dialogue from "Henry and June":

"Henry, your penis, it displaces a lot of fluid!"

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