Scribal Terror

Dragon Illusion

                 

A cut-out dragon that appears to move because it has been built concave instead of convex ("the "hollow face illusion"). H/t Say No to Crack

Cromarty Fisher Dialect

The Telegraph has audio of one of two people left who speak the Cromarty fisher dialect:

Bobby Hogg, 87, and his brother Gordon, 80, are believed to be the last fluent speakers of the "Cromarty fisher dialect".

It is said to be the most threatened dialect in Scotland and is to be recorded for an internet-based cultural archive.

It evolved when local fishermen in the town of Cromarty, on the Black Isle north of Inverness, picked up words from English soldiers based in the area in the 17th and 18th centuries.

The fishermen adopted formal words such as thee, thou and thine, but also mispronunciations, substituting "erring" for "herring" and "hears" for "ears".

Bobby Hogg said: "You hear the odd smattering of it in some of the things people from Cromarty say, but nobody speaks it fluently these days but for us two."

It sounds a lot like Old English.

No need to waste precious calories

Not when you can let the Robotic Beer-Launching Fridge deliver your refreshment ballistically.

Witchcraft in the EU

Ananova reports:

Romanian witches are carving out a lucrative new business - concocting spells to help locals get EU grants.

Until now the country's witches have confined themselves to love potions and spells to get cows to produce more milk.

But the EU expansion has seen funding for new projects flood into the country and now locals hoping to gain a slice of the action are turning to witches to boost their chances.

Witch Florica, from Pitesti in southern Romania, said: "It's a new type of spell that we had to work out of course.

"You cannot pretend you are a real witch if you cannot help a businessman get the European Union funds he wants.

"For example, only the other day I had a young businessman who came to me with his papers applying for European funds.

"I spread the cards on his documents, said my spells and splashed the papers with some potions. It only cost him about £40 for my charms but when gets the money thanks to my spells he will be happy and I will be happy because he will bring me new customers."

Witchcraft is a recognised profession in the new EU state and witches say they have adjusted their services as entrepreneurs turn to potions and spells to get the money they want.

NTTAWWT

Sir Walter Scott, Phrasemaker

Here's a list of phrases either invented or brought into popular English usage by Sir Walter Scott:

• Cold Shoulder
• Blood is thicker than water
• Flotsam and jetsam
• Go berserk
• Infra dig
• Lock stock and barrel
• Nail your colours to the mast
• Savoir faire
• Tongue in cheek
• Caught red-handed
• Wide berth

You can read about each one at Phrasefinder, just by clicking on the links.

The door is open . . .

Come on in and talk.  Or drop off one of your random bursts of verbal energy -- poem, limerick, story, top ten list, clerihew, essay, alliterative poem, rant, Surrealist or Dadaist poem, parody, cento, dirty joke, amusing syllepsis, dirty syllepsis, haiku, dirty haiku . . . to share.

Where the storks went

People used to wonder where European migratory birds went when they weren't in Europe. Aristotle apparently thought they hibernated. Then, in 1822, this unfortunate stork provided the answer. It flew into Mecklenburg with a central African spear through its neck. Proceedings of the Athanasius Kircher Society

Walkies

The vehicle is fish-directed.

Extreme Kite Flying

In Pakistan:

At least 11 people died and more than 100 people were injured at an annual spring festival in eastern Pakistan celebrated with the flying of thousands of colorful kites, officials said Monday.

The deaths and injuries were caused by stray bullets, sharpened kite-strings, electrocution and people falling off rooftops on Sunday at the conclusion of the two-day Basant festival, said Ruqia Bano, spokeswoman for the emergency services in the city of Lahore.

The festival is regularly marred by casualties caused by sharp kite strings or celebratory gunshots fired into the air. Kite flyers often use strings made of wire or coated with ground glass to try to cross and cut a rival's string or damage the other kite, often after betting on the outcome.

Damn, they take that stuff seriously. H/t Ace

Taking it easy

I'm taking it easy this evening and might not be posting much. I went to the eye doctor and got my pupils dilated, so I can't see properly. And after spending two hours at the optometrist's, I just want to eat and go lie down.