Scribal Terror

Would you like your flummery with or without the helium?

The Tethered Cow envisions a Swiftian moment in food history involving a seventeenth-century culinary experiment gone terribly awry.

Major John updates us from the dumper -- and beyond

Major John of Miserable Donuts is now posting from a hopefully secure location in Iraq. He has been hanging with General Petraeus and the man with the world's hardest job, as well as visiting something called a "bombardier station" (shown above). Interesting stuff from a completely honest, intelligent, and trustworthy person who actually knows what he's talking about as opposed to others one could mention in a snooty way if one so chose.

"To chronicle small beer"

According to Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable, the expression "to chronicle small beer" is "to note down events of no importance whatsoever." It derives from Shakespeare's Othello:

“He was a wight, if ever such wight were …
To suckle fools and chronicle small beer.”

Metaphorically, "small beer" always means something of little importance, as small beer is literally a weakened beer brewed from a used mash.

Brewer's provides another example of "small beer" used metaphorically in a quote from DeQuincy's Historical Essays:

“To express her self-esteem [it might be said] that she did not think small beer of herself.” 

George Washington's recipe for small beer

Dated 1757, the Father of Our Country's beer-making instructions read as follows:

Take a large Sifter full of Bran Hops to your Taste -- Boil these 3 hours. Then strain out 30 Gall. into a Cooler put in 3 Gallons Molasses while the Beer is scalding hot or rather drain the molasses into the Cooler. Strain the Beer on it while boiling hot

let this stand til it is little more than Blood warm. Then put in a quart of Yeast if the weather is very cold cover it over with a Blanket. Let it work in the Cooler 24 hours

then put it into the Cask. leave the Bung open til it is almost done working -- Bottle it that day Week it was Brewed.

Courtesy of the Knights of the Moleskine, Spirit and Ale, new friends of Scribal Terror.

According to Anchor Steam, which makes a small beer of its own:

The tradition of brewing two distinct beers from one mash has existed for thousands of years, and for centuries the term "small beer" was used in English to describe the lighter and weaker second beer.

Here's a little more background from Realbeer.com:

The history of small beer dates back for centuries. In the days when sanitation was bad and water dangerous to drink, small beer was served to servants, field workers, the poor, even the young. The first runnings from a brewer's mash would go to a stronger beer, the second for ordinary beer. A small beer, taken from a third running, was probably about 2.5% alcohol by volume. Belgian monasteries, in particular, produced large quantities of small beer in the Middle Ages.

Washington didn't make his from a second or third mash, but the effect was apparently the same -- weak and light.

Thanks, David K.

"That's [political] logic"

I'm having a problem following Obama's line of reasoning on Iraq. It begins with an excellent syllogism:

We should be in Iraq only if Al-Qaeda is there.
Al-Qaeda is not in Iraq.
Therefore we should leave.

Flawless. If you accept the major (stipulative) and minor (factual) premises, the conclusion falls neatly into place. But then the logical structure begins to breaks down:

Al-Qaeda in Iraq is in Iraq.
But it is Bush's fault.
[Implied: Therefore it doesn't count]
Therefore we should reserve the right to return to Iraq if Al-Qaeda in Iraq is in Iraq after we leave Iraq.

This sounds like a proposal to dig holes in order to fill them up again. Am I missing something? Can anybody make this make sense?

PS, the post title (as well as the illustration) comes from Alice in Wonderland:

"Contrariwise,'' continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.''

I invite anyone to submit any candidate's statement for similar scrutiny. I'm happy to be Alice to either Dum or Dee. Who knows? This could become a continuing feature. As long as candidates persist in running for office over such a long period of time, we might as well find a way to enjoy ourselves at their expense.

Cloud streets

Via Pink Tentacle. According to Wikipedia, cloud streets are

rows of cumulus or cumulus-type clouds aligned parallel to the low-level wind. The most favorable conditions for their formation occur when the lowermost layer of air is unstable, but is capped by an inversion -by a stable layer of air. This often occurs when upper air is subsiding, such as under anticyclonic conditions, and is also frequently found when radiation fog has formed overnight. Convection occurs below the inversion , with air rising in thermals below the clouds and sinking in the air between the streets.

Besides invading Poland, etc.

Hitler may have violated Disney copyright. Now THAT'S transgressive! Ananova reports:

The director of a Norwegian museum claims to have found cartoons drawn by Adolf Hitler during the Second World War.

William Hakvaag, the director of a war museum in northern Norway, said he found the drawings hidden in a painting signed "A. Hitler" that he bought at an auction in Germany.

The coloured cartoons included sketches of characters from the 1937 Disney film Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, which were signed A.H., and an unsigned sketch of Pinocchio from the 1940 Disney film.

There is no independent confirmation the drawings were the work of the Nazi leader, but Hitler is known to have owned a copy of Snow White and to have viewed it in his private cinema.

Mr Hakvaag, who said he had performed tests on the paintings which suggested that they dated from 1940, said: "I am 100 per cent sure that these are drawings by Hitler. If one wanted to make a forgery, one would never hide it in the back of a picture, where it might never be discovered."

Insanely busy

Probably little to no blogging today. In addition to everything else -- housework, teaching, tutorials, chauffeuring Paperclip from school to after-school activity -- I am preparing to do battle with an entire community of tiny moths that have taken up residence in the pantry. I have to empty out the cabinet (which is huge -- six feet high by three feet wide and two feet deep), go through all the cereal boxes, etc., to seek and destroy the wee buggers, then clean everything (including the soup cans, etc.)to get rid of invisible moth eggs and repack whatever hasn't been infested. This is a major undertaking.

Indian meal moths, that's what they are. Must buy MOTH TRAPS!!

What book are you?

Which literature classic are you?

J.R.R. Tolkien: Lord of the Rings. You are entertaining and imaginative, creating whole new worlds around yourself. Well loved, you have a whole league of imitators, none of which is quite as profound as you are. Stories and songs give a spark of joy in the middle of your eternal battle with the forces of evil.
Take this quiz!

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Via Miss Cellania, who is The Name of the Rose.

Monday, Monday

Thanks, Scott